


to make my bed

by Pomfry



Series: I am the same, I'm the same (I'm trying to change) [4]
Category: Servamp (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Child Abuse, Creator sucks, Gen, Human Experimentation, Nightmares, Protective Kuro, Protective Siblings, it's pretty graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-16 18:35:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14816672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pomfry/pseuds/Pomfry
Summary: Old Child is two when he’s first taken from his older brother’s grasp. His wings are starting to poke through, red and black feathers have started to litter the floor, and Kuro lets him go without a fight. Back then, they aren’t aware of just how bad things would get. Kuro assumes that he would examine Old Child’s back to check that nothing is going wrong, and then return him to his older brother.This did not happen.





	to make my bed

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY SO THE WONDERFUL DOODLE-ART MADE FANART OF THIS.
> 
> https://hewwo-hawve-some-awt.tumblr.com/post/174444532648/oof-i-did-an-art-inspired-by-one-of-nikescarets
> 
> IT IS BEAUTIFUL I ADORE IT, LOOK AT IT AND MARVEL.

Old Child is two when he’s first taken from his older brother’s grasp. His wings are starting to poke through, red and black feathers have started to litter the floor, and Kuro lets him go without a fight. Back then, they aren’t aware of just how bad things would get. Kuro assumes that he would examine Old Child’s back to check that nothing is going wrong, and then return him to his older brother.

This did not happen.

Old Child screams his throat to shreds on the operating table as his back is carefully sliced into to reveal two baby wings, still not ready to come out. He screams and struggles, jerking against the restraints as they’re pulled out anyway, examined, and prodded at. It hurts more than anything Old Child has ever experienced, hurts more than when he ran into the wall of his home with Kuro chasing after him. It hurts, it hurts, and he shouts for his older brother until he can’t anymore, until he’s collapsed from the pain.

Creator makes notes on his clipboard, lifts up the wings with a pen. Old Child whimpers, hands curling into fists. He can hear Kuro yelling, asking what was happening, and he opens his mouth to answer when another stab of pain comes from his wings, and he’s lost in the sea of  _ pain, pain, pain. _

When he surfaces again, his wings are being wrapped in bandages and some kind of ointment. Old Child squints at the man who was once like a father to him, and tries to shift away. A pinch to his wing makes him cry out, and he stops moving. His breath is catching in his throat, his nails are covered in blood from where he scratched against the metal in an attempt to get away, and Kuro is ramming against the door, trying to get to him.

“Pride, your wings are coming along nicely,” Creator says finally, face cold as he lifts Hugh up and heads back to his room. “They will be small, but able to carry you. Most unlike Sloth.” He opens the door and drops Hugh into Kuro’s waiting arms. “Keep those bandages on.”

Kuro curls a hand around the back of Old Child’s head, glares with all his might. “What did you  _ do? _ ” he demands, his voice trembling like the child in his arms. Then again, he is also a child.

“I did an inspection on him,” Creator says flatly, and the door clangs shut behind him. 

\--

 

Old Child - Pride - chooses a name when he’s two and a half. Kuro reads to him in an attempt to distract him from the absolute ache in his back while Doubt Doubt sleeps in a corner, covered with a blanket. Kuro isn’t yet old enough to fight Creator off when he comes for Old Child, but he does his best in all the other areas. When Old Child is hungry, Kuro gives him his food. When Old Child is tired, Kuro lets him sleep on his arm. When Old Child is comes back crying, Kuro sits him down in his lap and pulls out a book.

Old Child loves to learn, loves to read. He soaks up the words like a sponge, like they’re his lifeline, and maybe they are. Kuro doesn’t know. But his younger brother’s vocabulary is much larger than it should be. He talks like a six year old.

“And so,” Kuro reads one day, “Hugh took a look -”

“I like that name,” Old Child says suddenly. “I think - I think that’s going to be my name.”

Kuro blinks down at him, then laughs, ruffling his hair. “Took you long enough,” he teases, and Old Child - now Hugh -  sticks his tongue out at him.

“You didn’t choose yours until I was one,” he mutters darkly. Kuro hadn’t liked any names until he read the word Kuro. He says that it describes him perfectly.

“I didn’t,” Kuro agrees with a nod. “But you are so much smarter than I ever was at two, so.”

Hugh turns red, hiding his face in Kuro’s hospital gown while Kuro chuckles at him. “Shut up,” he mutters sourly, and Doubt Doubt snores across the room.

It’s a peaceful moment. They won’t have many more.

 

\--

 

Lawless arrives when Hugh is four, Kuro is nine, and Doubt Doubt - now Jeje - is thee. His hair was originally just blonde, but when Creator took him, he came back with black underneath.

He’s a ruckus, Hugh thinks as he wrinkles his nose. He commands all of the attention of Kuro, where it all would have been divided equally. He’s a baby, Kuro tells him as he bounces Hugh’s baby brother on his hip the best he can, so he needs more attention.

“Attention Shemshion,” Hugh grumbles, slamming a book shut. Lawless, startled by the noise, starts to cry again. Just as Kuro starts to scold his younger brother, the door opens. They all freeze as Creator walks in, his stone eyes looking over all them before he heads over to Hugh.

Hugh scrambles away, towards Kuro, and Kuro is already setting Lawless down, reaching out his arms, when -

Creator grabs him by the back of his hospital dress, by the edge of his small wing, and Hugh gasps out loud. “You are coming with me,” he says, and it’s firm. Hugh slumps in his grap, his wings already hurting as he’s carried out of the room, Kuro’s yells echoing in his ears.

Hugh doesn’t know why his wings are such a thing of fascination to Creator, but it’s painful. He hates it, hates the man, hates how he’s trapped in his building with only Kuro to take care of him. He hates and he hates, and he  _ hates  _ as he’s laid down on his stomach in a familiar position, wrists strapped to the table.

He sucks in a breath and holds both it and the scream back.

 

\--

 

Hugh is six when The Mother and World End arrive, both a month apart. Lawless - now Hyde - is thrilled to have newcomers, while the oldest three share looks of dread. Two more meant more tests, more screams, more food to be divided.

Still, Kuro takes The Mother and Hugh takes World End and they endure.

 

\--

 

By the time All of Love arrives, Hugh doesn’t care about the agony he faces when he’s on his stomach. He only wants to protect his siblings from it, and Kuro shares the thought.

The first time they fight Creator off, Hugh is seven and The Mother and World End are napping, All of Love sniffing in Jeje’s arms.

They fight him off, and their siblings live to see another day without the nightmares that come with living here. Hugh can only be glad.

 

\--

 

Ophelia nearly breaks Hyde, nearly shatters him. Hugh puts him back together the best he can, but his best isn’t enough.

Ophelia was almost the same age as Hyde, as Jeje. If she hadn't been given to Kuro, Hugh has no doubt that she wouldn’t have died.

Either way, when Hyde curls up to him in his sleep, Hugh does nothing, only holds him tighter.

 

\--

 

Hugh is thirteen when they escape.

It’s the best day of his life. The sunlight tastes like freedom, the soft feathers of Kuro’s wings against his face feels like relief.

“No more,” he whispers. “No more experiments.”

Lily cheers, arms thrown into the air as he laughs. World End and Freyja are staring around them in confusion, Jeje is squinting fiercely, and Hyde is gaping at the wide world that surrounded the place they lived in their whole lives.

“No more,” Kuro agrees, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “I told you that, didn’t I?”

“You did,” Hugh says, giddy. His wings won’t be aching anymore. He won’t be - he won’t be strapped down to table, forced to scream for the sake of some science that Hugh doesn’t know about.

Tsubaki giggles in Kuro’s arms.

A beginning of a new life, Hugh thinks, and doesn’t contain his excitement.

 

\--

 

Hugh is fourteen when he gets a job to help put food in their stomachs. Kuro never says anything about it, but Hugh can see the relief in his eyes when the extra money pops up.

Kuro still wakes up from nightmares, still gathers them all close at night. Hugh has nightmares too, but he keeps quiet about it, both from his pride and his want to not burden his brother any more than he already has.

Hugh can fly on his wings. But they will hurt. Kuro has to buy a special kind of aloe to make it stop burning, and it costs a lot for someone on their budget.

So he doesn’t say anything about the dreams where the Creator isn’t dead and he wakes up on the table, wings out and Creator staring at him, hungry for information.

He doesn’t say a word.

 

\--

 

Hugh meets Tetsu in the park, with Misono and Lily playing in the sandbox. He’s sitting beneath a tree, head tilted back to catch patches of sunlight, and Hug sits next to him, holding a book in his hands.

“My name is Hugh,” he says without prompting. “You?”

The man opens his eyes. “Sendagaya Tetsu,” he repliefs, and holds out a hand.

When Hugh takes it, he thinks that this is the start of a beautiful friendship.

 

\--

 

Hugh is fifteen when a man with a toddler walks into his home, fifteen when Kuro and Shirota Mahiru meet.

He’s not really impressed with their meeting, but he will roll with it. At least they get to stay here, in this place they’ve made as home. At least Tsubaki has a friend.

At least they don’t get sent back.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always loved and brighten up my day and are saved in my Gmail.
> 
> Also! Here's my [Tumblr.](http://nikescaret.tumblr.com) Come visit and chat with me if you want!


End file.
